love lockdown

i have two of my really close friends going through a tough time with there signifcant others. so it makes me ask myself why do we as humans put up with being treated bad? i mean we all are not perfect and we all are humans and we do make mistakes in relationships. but why do we put up with being treated like crap in relationships?! it amazes me how much people will take and things they go through because they 'love' someone. man that love it does silly things to people make them act all sorts of crazy. i mean i have not always been in perfect relationships, but looking on from the outside in you def get a good look at it. don't we all just wanna be happy? dont we all want the freedom to do what we want when we want? dont we all want to trust?. i think we all deserve to be happy. relationships are 50 50. it is all about the communication. the trust. and you know what just having a good time with each other. it should be nothing more or less. it shouldn't be that hard. well i think it shouldn't be that hard. relationships are something that always need to be worked on. but it is another thing, if you know you aren't happy. and you stick around and stay. come on. get out and be happy. life is just way to short not to be happy. so if you aren't happy. get that backbone and leave. be strong. and dont look back. and find that one person in life who will treat you right...i just think because of all the stuff that has gone on in my life in past relationships...im not gonna put up with guys and being treated like crap. we all deserve our happy ending. our fairytale. and our prince charming to come in on a white horse and saving the day. yes maybe i am stuck in fairtale land...but i think ( yes even guys you too...you deserve your princess too...) everyone needs to be happy. happy in life. happy in relationships. be content with who you are. and if you find that someone who makes you a better person. dont let them go. just be happy.

also...i am doing this biggest loser thing at work. and i have lost a total of 5.5 pounds in 3 weeks :) and i was the biggest loser this week!!!! :). not like i am trying to loose a ton of weight...but summer is a coming...and you all know what that means...bathing suit time. trying to look good ya know :) haha.

things in life right now. are amazing. im just really happy, happier than i have been in awhile and it is crazy how life can turn around in only just a few weeks ;)

there's alot that i dont know, there's alot that im still learning.

so it has been a little while that i have blogged. since i know someone reads this ;) hehe. but there has been a lot of stuff going on. the lastest and the greatest i have been sick it feels like FOREVER. i am so over having the sniffles it isn't funny. i am feeling 100% better. but the whole house hold has been sick for like a week or so. brendan. linz. and rob. but were getting there. i was out of work for two days last week.

so the dumbest movie ever....would be this one. 

 

last night linz and i had 'sister time' so we were like lets get a movie. we were both looking forward to the movie. well it was over and she and i were looking at each other like what the heck was that? oh yes....the suckest movie ever. i guess what i got out of it. was that love gives second chances. and where you might least expect it. but really....read the book dont go see the movie. 

but really...i agree with the whole love and second chances. i mean for some people they get it right the first time. but for the majority of the rest of the world. it takes us a few chances to find that someone that we 'love'. but again. love is worth the risk of getting your heartbroken a few times to find your best friend and to find that someone who you will spend the rest of your life with. im ready to do that. ;)

so i am SO PUMPED for concert season. really. im way overdue for a good concert. my list is def. growing. guess i need to save save save. so that i can actually get to these shows. if you know what i mean. last summer concert season was the BOMB and i to see a lot of people that i hadn't before...and this summer is shaping up to do the same thing. i am SO excited. im ready... because i am over this whole rain that we have had for like 3 days straight now...crazy. haha. summer where are you? 

things have been really good these last few weeks....im really excited and ready for summer and hanging out with my friends and my family. i have a feeling it is going to rock :) 

simply genius.

this movie. is awesome. amazing.

go see it. or get the book. 

leaving me stranded all in love on my own.

say you're sorry, that face of an angel

comes out just when you need it to

as i paced back and forth all this time

cause i honestly believed in you

holding on the days drag on

stupid girl, i should've known

i should've known

im not a princess, this aint a fairytale

im not the one you'll sweep off her feet

lead her up the stairwell

this aint hollywood, this is a small town

i was a dreamer before you went and let me down

now it's to late for you and your white horse 

to come around

maybe i was naive, got lost in your eyes

and never really had a chance

my mistake, i didn't know to be in love

you had to fight to have the upper hand

i had so many dreams about you and me

happy endings, well now i know

im not a princess, this aint a fairytale

im not the one you'll sweep off her feet

lead her up the stairwell

this aint hollywood, this is a small town

i was a dreamer before you went and let me down

now it's too late for you and your white horse

to come around

and there you are in your knees

begging for forgiveness, begging for me

just like i always wanted, but im so sorry...

cause im not your princess, this aint a fairytale

im gonna find someone someday

who might actually treat me well

this is a big world, that was a small town

there in my rearview mirror disappearing now

and its to late for you and your white horse

now its to late for you and your white horse 

to catch me now...

its too late to catch me now...

show me what im looking for...

this is going to be a random blog...just a heads up before you start reading...

so one of my very best friends...is going through a heartbroken situation right now. i feel for her. cuz i was there before. and she def. helped me through it. i wanted to return the favor. i hate to see people hurt. i feel like i take on peoples feelings and thoughts cuz i want to help them or to fix the problem. and because it is dealing with a broken heart. i don't want anyone to go through that....it sucks. but really. it is crazy what love makes a person do. or crazy what it turns a person into. this over the top emotional train wreck when things aren't going the right way or they are ending or that they are over. the scars and the brokenness that we get from a broken heart...teaches us more than we really know and understand. for me. it made me a lot stronger person. and it made my skin a little thicker. it made me think a lot about myself...or what i did not like about myself. it made me a little to independent. but it taught me that, my life and my plans are not my own. they are the Lords. and we are to listen and to follow him. i may not know all the answers and all the reasons why. but He does. getting over a broken heart...it is hard. and it SUCKS. but in that time...you grow. you learn. and you move on. a little piece of our hearts will always be with that person that we did love. but you leave your broken heart open. cuz that is the only way you will ever find love again. so it is ok to put the bandages on. and take the time to heal. to work through the emotions and hurt feelings. because if you dont. you will never be able to move on. love takes time. healing takes a little bit longer. 

so this weekend was super fun. i actually did a lot more than i had originally had planned. but it was great. i got to hang out with a really good friend a lot this weekend. she is awesome and i love her. we went out to plaza and cjs on friday. :) and saturday....went to the Liberty University Basketball game vs. ODU. it was @ ODU so i felt like i needed to support.  so i went with the rents and it was awesome. i had SO much fun...it makes me miss college...really. 

here is a pic from the game :) they lost...but they did good. it was great to be apart of LU again just for a day :)

but the rest of the weekend was great. i went and hung out with my friend and her family...was WAY to much fun :) they have welcomed me with open arms so that it awesome. today...well i woke up late cuz i was super tired since was out late both nights. so i got up and went shopping with my sister and rob and brendan. we got home. and i started to feel like poop and i still do. i need to be sleeping instead of blogging. oh well. here i am blogging away. so i was on the couch/bed all afternoon. i watched the race. kasey came in 12th :) go him.  after i finish this...bed for me. really. i need to be sleeping...haha. 

in other news....well really exciting news. im going to DISNEY WORLD IN JUNE! :) how cool right? Rob has to go down for training for a week...so he is bringing us ( me and linz), down for the week and were gonna go hang with mickey for a week! SO excited. really disney world is the ' happiest place on earth...'. i cant help but smile when i think about it. so i am SO jazzed that i get to go somewhere on VACATION this year...well somewhere cool....not just hanging here in the 757.  so here are some pics from my last visit. with linz and rob. we went the day after i graduated from college. may of 2006.

me and piglet. oh my goodness you dont know how happy i was at this moment. i love me some piglet. totally smiling from ear to ear :)

me at epcot. holding the epcot ball in my hands. and rocking my 'geek in the pink' shirt!

so they have a place to eat called 'casey's corner' - from the poem casey at the bat. well it is my place. :) you know since we have the same name. great photo op :)

me and my sis in front of the castle. everytime i looked at that. it gave me the best feeling. cuz i love me some DISNEY!!! :) i can't wait for june. 

so go pick up the kings of leon cd. it is AMAZING. they are coming here in concert. i am so there...

until then...

dude, is it Friday yet?

i am SO over this week...really. i feel like this week has gone on and on and on. i have worked 4 days this week ( since we had Monday off.) But it has been the longest week. i have just been in this awful mood this past week. i was talking to a girl at work today...i just don't know what it is....im just in a poopie mood. so i say goodbye this week....and hello weekend :). i woke up today thinking it was Friday....for a split second...i was like yes Friday.i feel like i work for the weekend sometimes. use the weekend to get off enjoy life, friends etc. i just wanna go... i want a vacation...sit on the beach...drink in my hand ( with no bottom...). and just soak up the sun. 

this is a picture from the bahamas...that i took. when i was down their 3 years ago.ahhhh...the life. i am known for taking pics into the sun...see but this one worked out nice :)

i wanna go back...and sit on the beach...and just relax.i would love to do that tomorrow....but enough of the dreaming about that...back to reality. the goodness is tomorrow is FRIDAY! FINALLY!

my friends have a show tomorrow night...im gonna go see them play in Norfolk. going to a basketball game...(go flames). then hanging with friends and what not. the normal weekend. i am just glad it is here....

' i've been roaming around,

always looking down at all i see

painted faces fill the places i can't reach

you know i could use somebody

you know i could use somebody

someone like you...'

~ use somebody - kings of leon 

until next time...

courage.

what do you think courage means? one definition says that courage is a quality of spirit that enables you to face danger or pain with out showing fear. i have been thinking a lot about this the last week or so. in many parts of my life....i have shown no courage. i have gone off and run from my feelings and my own thoughts. because it is so much easier to run and hide than to sit and face facts, and face the hard things in life. 

what does it take to have courage? how do we get it? it is telling someone how you truly feel about someone? finally standing up and taking responsibility for your own actions and your own feelings?finally talking to someone that you haven't in awhile and be an open book for the first time ever in your life? is it taking a step of faith and just "let go and let God". or is it something that we just have in us that we don't know how to use it.  in fact i think it is all these and more. in my life, i might have taken the easy road in some things which in turn actually make things harder....strange how you learn these things after the fact....ahhhh life. it teaches us. it shows us where we fall short, and shows that their is someone way more powerful and bigger, that has our best interest at heart. He and only he is where our courage comes from. 

'The LORD is my light and salvation- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid?'

~Psalm 27:1

it is so easy just to give up. so easy to give into those thoughts and feelings that make us run and be scared and not be courageous. the reason i am writing about this is that i need to practice what i preach. i am the type of person who is scared of what i am going to say that my words might upset someone, so i keep them to myself.....i am not courageous with communication. i feel that this whole blogging thing. will help me with that. but opening up and talking about why and how i am feeling things....is step two. just getting it out. step one. I'm learning each day. so be courageous...with your feelings, thoughts, emotions, decisions, and life. don't take it for granted. Don't go, stand up to it. Fight the urge to run. Know that someone is their to love us, watch over us, and guide us. We just have to be courageous to listen to Him. 

Today was a good day. I got to sit and talk to a good friend. And talk about life, and love, and just made me think a lot about my actions towards situations in my life lately and that i dont need to be afraid but to be courageous. I thank God for friends who will talk out life with you. Who makes you see things you might not have seen before. Work was long i was glad to get outta there. Today is Rob's birthday. Can I say how crazy it is that so many people have birthdays in February?! We hung out tonight and played with Brendan and watched Idol...im watching LOST now...such a great show... but i wanted to show my new purse i got it today!!....LOVE IT. I have been dying with the purse i have been using lately. I am happy to have to new one. it is purple :) and it rocks. 

' happiness feels a lot like sorrow

let it be, you can't make it come or go

but you are gone not for good but for now

gone for now feels like gone for good ' - happiness - the fray.

what an amazing song....great lyrics too. 

until then...